bhamstyle

I now have a beautiful family, a beautiful home, a successful business, a degree, nice cars, 4 big pit bulls, and a dirt bike which I ride with the kids as much as I can! I have a lot to be thankful for. I have worked very hard since I caught my case. I had to lose all my friends from the past and start all over as a new man. I’ve even had to grow up and put my childish behavior behind me. None of my friend can believe that I settled down. They always expect me to be the same dude I used to be. But I don’t want to put off like I’ve turned into the Golden Child, I still make mistakes everyday but I’ve come along way! Last year I received a phone call from my wife’s cousin. She was so upset and angry because her 15 year old son Jamonte’ was becoming more than she could handle. Skipping school and stealing from neighbors. She is single with 4 kids and 4 baby daddies and his father past away when he was 13 yrs old. He is her only child without a father. So I did what I thought was best and I offered that he come stay with me and allow me to teach him discipline and how to become a man. I didn’t know what I was in for. So now we have a baby boy, a 9 year old girl, and a 15 year old stinky boy in our home. And when summer time comes my 9 year old son from Florida comes down to visit. My wife and I are very young, but we act older than our ages. Well at least she does. We look like kids raising kids. But I can see a big change in Jamonte’s attitude from how he listens and follows directions. And he has yet to skip a day or miss a day of school this year. I’m proud of him even though I rarely show it because I don’t want him to feel comfortable where he is at. And it makes me feel good to know that he truly appreciates what I’m doing for him. I recently hurt my back at work and Jamonte’ took good care of me as if I were his real dad. While taking care of him I have ran across a lot of youth in the streets that I have been mentoring. The ones that are serious about life work with me on the weekends, selling clothes and other different jobs that I can find throughout the community to keep them off the streets. We also work out in my gym in my garage every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I’ve even found a few youngsters that enjoy going to church so we all pile up in my Expedition and go to church every Wednesday for bible study. Thursdays we attend quire rehearsal, and Sunday church. I try my best to keep them busy so that the devil won’t have young idle minds that he can use as his playground. The kids give me a lot of respect and they confide in me with there problems. I think they can relate to me in many ways as well as I can relate to them. Usually when you see a brother riding big rims and living in a nice crib at the age of 25 he gotta be selling drugs. That’s the stereotype I get on a daily basis. That’s why these young brothers can relate to me. I come where they come from but I’m one of the few brothers out there trying to promote good in out of our youth. They see that and they appreciate it. There is one young dude around the corner that has seemed to gravitate very close to my family and I. His name is Reggie. He goes to the same school as Jamonte. When I first met him he was selling drugs and hustling. I had him work with me one day and he sold over $300 worth of merchandise in 20 min. He has a very gifted tongue when it comes to business. But his mouth is also his biggest downfall. He kind of reminds me of me when I was younger. But he seems to have a better head on his shoulders. But I have notice that kids these days deal with more pressures in life than my generation had to deal with. Now one day I invited Reggie to go on another job with me at the church. He was excited to make money so he rolled out there with me. I didn’t tell him that I was taking him to the male chorus rehearsal but when he finally figured out what was going on as we waltzed into the choir stand full of men. He was cool with being there; I can tell he kind of enjoyed singing. He informed me that he already attends a church that his grandfather is the pastor of. But he said that he doesn’t like it do to the fact that there are only 10 members and they are all over the age of 40. Every since that one rehearsal he has been calling me every day to see if he can come to church with us again. Well I’m like sure, I’m not about to turn any kid down from receiving the word. Well last Sunday he went to church with us and he joined the church and gave his life to Christ. I was very proud of him. I have also noticed a change in his attitude and I also notice he has been off the block since he has been working and hanging out with me. But I just learned that his mom has a problem with him going to church with us. Not because we’re Baptist, but because she just wants him to attend the church they have been going to. Now my church isn’t huge but we have a nice body size with a ton of youth, some people he can relate to. I mean he is not my son so if mom says that he can’t go than he cant go. I’m from the old school and I believe in what ever mom says to a child that what goes. But I do see his point. I have talked to Reggie’s mother and I kind of understand where she is coming from, but I really don’t. My mom would have been happy to just see me on the church playground let along attending church. I would like to know what comment or suggestions on how to handle this situation with out making it worse and still remaining respectable ?????????////////////

About 6 years ago I was only 19 years old with NO Kids and NO JOB! All I did was grind out in the hood during the day and party at night with my friends!! And I mean we used to party hard. At that time in my life if you were to ask me what my plans were for the future I would have started laughing in your face. I’m ashamed to admit it but I used to Gang bang hard with the Bloods even though I was raised better and I knew better. But as we all know the life of a Gang banger is really short.

I’ve been shot and stabbed within the same week, and the following week after that my best friend was killed brutally. That is when I decided that the gang life wasn’t for me anymore. I wanted to get out but that is easier said than done. They used to say if you want to get out you must want to die! Not a good situation to be in.

Well one day I was assigned to be the driver for top rank gang leader who was supposed to rob Prosperity bank by method of forgery by check. I wasn’t the one who committed the felony offense but when the police came I was the only one who they took to jail. Sometimes the lord throws hurdles in our road so that we may jump to were we need to be in life. I was so distraught that I incriminated myself even worse to the DA while I was being interrogated. I spent about 2 weeks in jail because I was too terrified to tell my mom where I was. I even thought about suicide. I finally got the galls to contact my mother and I had to hear it from her and my step-father. My bail was 150,000 and the only reason my parents could even afford to bail me out is because my step-father had just one a settlement from a case he had pending from 5 years ago. I was looking at 5 years in prison but since it was my first offense I ended up receiving 3 years probation and deferred adjudication. The day I got out of jail I got my first job ever! And the gang let me out with no consequences because I didn’t snitch on the head dog whom at the time was a two time convicted felon. I vowed to change my life, but it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. Months after that, I remember my heart beating through my chest as I drive down I-10 with 20 pounds of marijuana and over 1,000 X pills in the back of my truck hid in luggage. I’m not bragging nor am I at all proud of my past, but I still have picture to remind me constantly of how God brought me a long, long, long, long, way. I remember thinking how did I fall back into this trap, I remember praying to God, “please Lord don’t allow me to get caught, I promise I will go to church if you allow me to make it this last time.”

Well I made it back home safely jut in-time to receive a phone call from a young lady which whom I’ve haven’t heard from in over 6 years. She asked me if I had any kids, and I jokingly replied, “None that I know of.” She then giggled and said, “Please don’t be mad at me for calling out the blue, but I have someone that wants to meet you.” Then she handed the phone to her 6 year old son and he asked me, “Are really his daddy”!!!!!!!!!!!!! WoW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She waited 6 years to tell me this. I’ve missed out on a lot. At the time I felt like life couldn’t get any worse. So not knowing what to do I hung up the phone and I immediately went to T-mobile and changed my number and went to work as if nothing happened. Tears come to my eyes now as I write this knowing how far God has brought me. I don’t expect anyone else to know my joy, but God has been so good to me. He has brought me so far.   

The next Sunday my mom begged and begged me to come to church with her. I felt like I was obligated to go because he brought me home safely from my big trip. So I went. I have been to church many times before in the past, but this time was different. I can’t explain why, but I felt like the Lord was talking directly to me through the pastor. Then right before the pastor closed out his message he said, “I know there’s someone out there who needs to hear this.” Then he asked, “If you die today, where are you going?” BAM!!!!!!!!! It was like the spirit was in me and I wasn’t sure what was going on. I was scared for the first time in my life. I don’t really remember what happened after that, but they told me I ran to the front of the church crying and I gave my life to Christ. I for the first time in my life accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Savior.

As soon as I got home I called my son and apologized for missing his birthday and I promised him that I would never miss another one. We have been so close every since and I can’t believe I was going to deny him. That would have been the biggest mistake of my life. Now my son just turned 9 and I just turned 25 and he love his daddy.

For the first time in my life I know where I’m going to go when I die!

I now have a beautiful family, a beautiful home, a degree, nice cars, 4 big pit bulls, and a dirt bike which I ride with the kids as much as I can! I have worked very hard since I caught my case. I had to lose all my friends from the past and start all over as a new man. My mind isn’t the same at all and I am still paying for alot of mistakes I made when I was younger. Most of my old buddies are either dead or in jail and the ones that are still here, None of them can believe it when I tell them that I have settled down. But I don’t want to put off like I’ve turned into the Golden Child, I still make mistakes everyday but I’ve come along way! 

But I am not White. I am a Father, I am a husband, and I am a well educated Black Man! I’m not one to make excuses, nor do I want sympathy. To tell you the truth, I am just sick and tired of the S*** that goes along with being a Black man in America! I’m not here to blog about what has been wrongfully done to me throughout my life, I just feel like I have a lot on my chest that I need to express. I believe that the toughest job in America is being a Black Man.

Yesterday night my wife and I had a lovely dinner without the kids at our favorite restaurant Pappadeaux. We left around 10:00 pm and it only took us about 10 min to get home. Now I am only 25 and I drive a 2008 Black Chevy Colorado with tinted windows (legal limit), 24” inch Rims, and Custom interior. Very nice looking truck! Now as I was pulling into the driveway at my home, which I purchased, I noticed the loud siren and the bright flashing lights of the police behind me in my driveway. I calmly grabbed my license and insurance to provide the officer with. And then out of nowhere he yells, “Keep your f***ing hands where I can see them.” Now I’ve been in this situation a ton of times and every time, in the back of my mind, I say to myself, “I wish I were White”… He proceeded with escorting me out my vehicle cussing at me telling me to shut up as I try and ask whats going on. As I was being searched my neighbors, my wife, and worst of all my kids witnessed everything that was going on. I don’t drink nor do I do drugs so I didn’t know what was going on. Now when the police officer searched my pockets he pulled out about $800 in cash and immediately called for backup, never once explaining to me what was going on. The only thing he kept asking me was, “Were is the Dope.” I tried to explain to him that I have no Dope and he would just replied, “shut the f+++ up.” Wow, I wander if this would have happened if I were white. Now its 4 police cars with there lights still on and in my driveway, searching my vehicle, tearing up my interior and dash board. After the search, which they found nothing, only one officer had the common cutesy to apologize for the treatment I received. And he was the only Black police officer there on duty.

As soon as I got into the house I called my mother, as i was very upset! Her advice to me was that I need to stop dressing like a thug and to take the rims off my truck. She said that, “I am only making myself a target by the way I look.” Wow!

Why should I have to live outside of my comfort zone to please people who judge me or dislike me? I work hard everyday so that I can buy the things I feel comfortable in or around. As I write this blog tears come to my eyes as I think of all the times I have been treated wrong because the way I look! I can’t help the way I look, this is the way God created me in his image. I feel that no one believes in me…. but me! White America always speaks about the growing equality for all the citizens of this country. However, the truth of the matter is this: the more melanin in your skin tone, the further away from parity you are.

Now who am I supposed to tell when I have a situation? I must swallow my pride and take it. Racial profiling is just another form of oppression for Black Men! I will be OK because I serve the Lord above. Whatever has been done to me in my past will only make me stronger! But with that said I still don’t understand why I am hated by so many people I don’t even know. What if I were White?

I’m not one of those dudes that believe the world is out to get me and I dislike White America. I have many friend that are white, but they as well seemed to judge me before they got to know me. But I am gratefull that we are were we are, and not where we used to be! Would love to here feedback this only my first blog!!!